


XOXO

by Arukou



Series: Tumblr Archive [32]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Meet-Cute, Nat is a troll, Non-powered AU, Social Media, Stony Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 12:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7533328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arukou/pseuds/Arukou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nat signs Steve up for a Grindr-esque website in an effort to find him love. Too bad he's not so thrilled about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	XOXO

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://arukou-arukou.tumblr.com/post/133244005691/xoxo).
> 
> For Stony Bingo prompt "(social) media."

“Natasha?”

Draping her head over the back of the sofa, Natasha blinked innocently at Steve. A moment later, Bucky’s head popped up, and Steve might’ve been a virgin, but he was not an idiot.

“Oh, shit. Uh…oh god. I’ll just…”

Bucky licked his lips and swept his mussed hair back. “You already ruined the moment, Steve. Just say whatever you came to say.”

“Well, I came to be pissed off at you, but now I just…I’m just gonna…” Steve slapped his hand over his eyes and stumbled back toward the door.

“You’ll thank me later,” Natasha said, and a moment later she laughed low in her throat. Steve didn’t want to know if the laughter was directed at him or at whatever Bucky had resumed doing. The moment he’d cleared the door, Steve turned tail and ran back to his room, where his web browser was still open on some website that made him blush just to think about it.

There was a bright red circle over the inbox, and the number inside was already at 24, winking angrily up at him as though to remind him that he was the kind of build a lot of guys dreamed about screwing. Sighing, Steve dropped into his chair and stared at the screen. After a moment, a sick twist of curiosity zinged through him and he clicked before he’d really thought it through. The first message was just as awful as he’d been imagining.

_hey baby bet your dying for a nice thick_

Steve slammed on the delete button and grimaced. The assholes couldn’t even solicit him with correct grammar. What the hell had Natasha been thinking, setting up a profile for him? And she’d used that awful picture from the beach last summer, him skinny as a rail and already red with one day’s worth of truly memorable sunburn.

The next message was open, but Steve couldn’t be bothered to stare at anything but the profile picture, which was the very clear outline of an erect dick through underwear. He slammed the delete again. Message after message, sloppy come-ons or horrifying pictures. Steve was nearly through the entire inbox when he finally paused. The profile pick was admittedly a little risqué—a bare torso smeared with engine grease, a hand clutching a socket wrench in front—but the message caught his eye.

_Honey, you are on the wrong website for love. “Seeking long-term”? Most of the guys on here, that’s not what they’re after. Have you tried something different? OKCupid? Just take care of yourself. There’s a lot of asshole heartbreakers out there.  
XOXO The Mechanic_

Steve stared at the message for a long time, and then, before he lost his nerve, he clicked on the reply icon.

_Thanks for the warning. My friend signed me up without asking my permission. I wasn’t really expecting to come home to a bunch of dick pics. I’m actually not really looking for a partner right now, but my friend thinks I’d be better off if I had someone. Anyway, thanks again._

Steve paused for a moment, unsure how to sign off. He wasn’t about to give his real name, that was for damn sure. After a moment, it came to him.

_Winghead_

Sam would laugh if he could see it, but Steve had always liked the nickname. It was what he’d earned, after all, dressing as Captain America for four consecutive Halloweens. He hit the send button and closed out the website, pulling up his latest commission work instead. For the next several hours, he lost himself in a drawing haze, only to come out on the other side and see that it was past midnight.

“Fuck,” he whispered, and collapsed into bed, the salacious website forgotten. At least until the next morning when around ten he checked his email. Seventy-eight new messages, nearly all of them from the stupid sex-finder app. He hurriedly started ticking them off to delete them, but paused over one. “The Mechanic” was in the subject line. After a moment of hesitation, Steve left that message and deleted the others, but he didn’t open it up until he got home that night.

Bucky and Nat were out and he had the apartment to himself, so he brought his laptop to the sofa and opened his mail. Another sixteen solicitations, all quickly dispatched, and then he opened up the new message from the Mechanic.

_Does your friend have something against you? They set you up like the freshest piece of meat to be dangled in front of a pack of ravenous wolves. “Artist seeks long term-relationship. Guy with a great dick wouldn’t hurt.” Did you even read the profile? It’s like a call for open season. Anyway, I’m glad to know you’re not setting yourself up for heartbreak._

_XOXO The Mechanic_

_ps. Captain America fan? I loved him growing up. Read all the comics. Glad to see other fans out there._

Steve felt a little thrill. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had been willing to talk Cap comics with him; Bucky had stopped reading them the moment girls caught his attention, and Sam had never been a comics guy. They tolerated Steve geeking out, but it wasn’t the same as talking with another genuine fan. He didn’t even think twice before hitting the reply.

_You bet I’m a Cap fan. I still read all the comics. They’re the one luxury thing I’m allowed to buy each month. How about you? Do you still read him or have you grown out? That’s totally ok if you have, by the way. My best friend’s the same way._

_And to answer your other question, no I haven’t read my own profile. God, what did she put in there? Please don’t tell me she listed my favorite sex positions or anything crazy like that._

_Winghead_

It was only after he’d sent off the email that it occurred to Steve that gushing about comics to a complete stranger might be the best way to completely end the conversation. He might as well have written “I’m a 25 year-old loser” across his forehead and been done with it. But suddenly, his computer dinged at him. New message.

_I haven’t picked up a Cap comic in a few years. Didn’t like what they did with the character with that whole aging thing. I’ve been reading a lot of Iron Man and Captain Marvel lately. Has Cap’s story improved? Should I start reading again? I do miss him._

_And she didn’t list anything about sex positions, rest assured. It was mostly just mushy stuff. Long walks in the park, moonlit dinners, blah blah blah. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It just…I’m gonna stop there. Don’t be surprised the serial dater is a little disillusioned with the dating scene._

_XOXO The Mechanic_

Steve read the reply and started up a return message immediately. For the next four hours, he and the Mechanic traded messages back and forth while other offers piled up in Steve’s inbox, untouched. Before he knew it, it was past midnight again.

_This’ll be my last message for the night. I’ve gotta head to bed. I’ll look up the issue numbers for that storyline I was telling you about and get them to you tomorrow. Goodnight._

_Steve_

It was only once he’d sent the message that he noticed his serious mistake. Real name. Barrier broken. Inviting all sorts of potentially dangerous horrible scenarios. But the Mechanic seemed like a good guy. Shaking his head, Steve shook it off and shut down his computer, collapsing into bed without a second thought.

The next day, he had both his jobs, and the deadline was ticking down at the design firm, so he never got a chance to check his email. He spent the first part of the day designing horrible cartoon bears to shill candy to children and then headed off for his second job as a barista. By the time he got home, his feet were going numb and his back was aching. He collapsed into bed with a sigh and opened his laptop, only to see a mountain of new messages from the dating site. He deleted them all with prejudice save one.

_Steve,_

_I know you said you weren’t looking for a romantic partner, but would you perchance be looking for just a friend? I live in Manhattan and I noticed you listed Brooklyn. (Or rather, your friend listed Brooklyn.) I was thinking we could meet up and talk comics in person._

_Tony_

_ps. I’m serious. Just as friends. Absolutely no pressure for anything more._

Steve bit his lip, staring at the message. He’d gaffed with his name, but the Mechanic, Tony, had taken it in stride. Wanted to meet him even! Steve’s fingers hovered over the keyboard before he finally typed an answer. He sent it before he could lose his nerve and then shut down his computer and went to bed. He didn’t wait for a reply; he didn’t want to know the answer.

Instead, the next day he packed up his sketchbook and headed into Manhattan, slipping into the backstreets off Broadway. The bell rang as he stepped into Luke and Jess’ place, and he relished the warm smell of baking bread.

“Hey Steve,” Jess said with a wave, her apron dusted with a thick layer of flour. “Long time no see.”

“Hey Jess,” he said, striding up to the counter. “Sorry about that. Work’s been crazy.”

“How’s Bucky doing?”

“Better since he and Nat started dating. Now I don’t have to watch him pining after her, though I’m not sure if walking in on them is an improvement or not.”

Jessica laughed and then gestured to the array behind her. “The usual?”

“That’d be great.”

He settled into a chair at one of the window-side tables, fighting the urge to fidget restlessly. To distract himself, he pulled out his sketchbook and started working on a new superhero design. He was going to submit a portfolio to one of the major comics companies soon and he wanted to have something that really stood out against the competition.

“Winghead?”

Blinking up from his drawing trance, Steve was blindsided by a charming smile and an extended hand, thick with callouses and scars. “Mecha…uh, Tony?”

“You must be Steve,” Tony said with a smile, and then sank down into an open chair. “Thanks for meeting with me. I wasn’t sure if you were gonna show since you didn’t reply.”

Steve colored a little at that, ducking his head. “Sorry. Once I’d sent off the time and place I went to bed. And then I was just nervous, I guess.”

“That’s alright,” Tony said with a smile, and then he leaned forward, tapping on Steve’s notebook. “This,” he said, waggling his eyebrows, “looks promising.”

“You think?”

“I do think.” At his sparkling grin, something in Steve’s stomach flipped. He swallowed and looked back at Tony’s finger against the page, noting the dirt caught under the nails. “So will you tell me about it?”

“You, you want to hear?” Steve asked a little disbelieving.

“I’d love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [](http://arukou-arukou.tumblr.com/>tumblr</a>%20for%20more%20fanfiction%20and%20nerdery.)


End file.
